I learned from my past. BOY, did I ever learn from my past. Like yesterday, I posted my first blog ever. Honestly, I wasn't that impressed with it. I mean, it was fine. It was pretty basic and generic. I guess it worked as a "welcome to my new online platform" sort of thing. I know that I want to be more raw and hit on more serious topics from time to time, like educational issues, mental illness, and trauma. I also know that I want to dive into some more lighthearted post, like recipes, the Rath Cat Shenanigans, and stories of all types and how they relate to our lives. Okay, that's a simple fix.
Sometimes things aren't so simple though. I'm not sure if this is good or bad but as a young kid (around age 4) I was watching all the people around me. I was especially keen on seeing mistakes people were making and how it affected their lives. Now, all of us learn from and watch those around us as kids; our minds are continually developing until age 21 to 25. So, I was no different than any other kid except that I was going beyond observing and spending time reflecting on what I saw and how what I saw impaired those around me. I began to journal at a young age listing what I witnessed and the outcome. From my journals, I created my own "do" and don't" list for myself at the ripe age of 7. I've carried that list with me mentally into my 40's.
I'd love to say that carrying that checklist around helped me to not repeat the past. I mean, it did to an extent. I'm more careful than most, especially when it comes to protecting myself emotionally. But is that really helping? All of us have our baggage...those demons from our past that haunt us from time to time. Some of us have former trauma that dwells within us and never really completely leaves no matter what we do, so we survive it. Someday, maybe I'll be brave enough to share my personal past issues in the hope it can help others and in the hope I can connect to others and we can help each other. So, are we doomed to relive the past? To some extent the answer is yes...those things that shaped us get ingrained into our souls. The answer is also no, there is no stopping time and as we continue to live we are constantly moving forward. Yes, we will have reminders and those darn ghosts, but as adults we can find band-aids to help us heal and keep functioning. Feel free to share what band-aids you've used to help you cope in the comments. For me, being introverted and reflective helps me.